Natasha: well, this is awesome. No Avenger except Tony is eligible for health insurance.
Pepper: what are you talking about?? What happened??
Bruce: we all have preexisting conditions. For instance, I have hypertension.
Clint: I’m deaf.
Bucky: mental illness.
Wanda: *simply raises hand to agree with Bucky*
Steve: asthma, allergies, colorblindness…
Natasha: we’ll be here all day, Rogers.
Pepper: he doesn’t have those anymore!
Steve: but I did. They’re pre-existing.
Natasha: I’ve broken every bone in my body at least once.
Peggy: I’ve been shot, and I’m 98. Technically I should be on Medicare.
Tony: guys, I’m a recovering alcoholic. They’re not going to cover me either.
Natasha: OK, so Pepper is the only one of us who can get health insurance. We’re the AVENGERS, and we can’t get health insurance.
Pepper: Um, I have that Extremis thing.
Natasha: OK, so JARVIS is the only one of us who can get health insurance.
Peggy: Would Ultron count as a preexisting condition? He was sort of a virus.
Natasha: ….damn it.